Graduation Day!

I finally have enough energy to feel like updating my blog. Sorry to all of you who have been worried because I haven't updated in a while. The last 4 weeks have been difficult. I have felt like I had an ongoing bout with the flu- aches, chills, fevers, low blood counts, anemia, swollen tissues, diarrhea, nausea, etc. Last Monday, October 08 was my last day of radiation. The radiation therapists (who I had become quite close to after spending every day for 6 weeks with them) signed a graduation diploma and gave it to me. I will add it to my collection of memorabilia that I am saving from my " cancer days". I also had my last IV chemo treatment (#4) last week as well. I am starting to feel better and getting some energy back- enough to get out of bed finally. The doctors said that the radiation will continue to work in my body for 4-6 weeks after treatment ends. So, it will be a gradual process of regaining my energy. I have 8 more days of taking the oral chemo drug. Then I have to wait to see how things are healing. I am again so thankful to my sister Rebecca, my parents, Jared's parents, and Jared's sister Jackie for taking things over for me the last few weeks. Rebecca has been at my house every day since the beginning doing whatever needed to be done to keep things rolling.
Let me update you on a few other happenings at our home during these past few weeks. Jared got a bad case of viral tonsillitis and had to go to the Boerne Urgent care to get a steroid shot and some meds. Our computer hard drive crashed 2 weeks ago (another reason that I have not updated my blog)and I lost everything I had saved on there. Most sadly, all my pictures that I spent hours this summer organizing into folders were lost. Word of advise- please back up your pictures if you have not already done so. Don't wait for a better time. Because there might not ever be a better time. We bought an external hard drive to back ours up 2 days before the computer crashed, but we were both too sick to do it. Hence, we lost all our pictures from the last 2 years. All Kathryn's baby pictures. And no I did not have any hard copies printed ever. I was wanting to get them all organized into folders before I printed any of them. Then life came at us like a freight train and we are still in survival mode. Last week Kathryn (she will be 2 in November) fell and broke her collar bone. The 1st trip to the emergency clinic ( and copay)said there was not a brake, just a contusion. The next night after a long day of her crying, I could tell that her collar bone was swollen. So at 10:00 at night Jared and I took her to the ER in San Antonio (another copay) and sure enough her collar bone was broken. She is doing fine. I am just trying to keep her from falling again (which is difficult to do with a busy 2-year old who thinks she is as big as her siblings). She takes tylenol with codeine at night for the pain.
Overall, life is good for us. I continually feel the blessings of the Lord upon us. Thanks to all of you for your constant concern and prayers. So many of you have contributed meals and given thoughtful gifts and words of encouragement. I meet with my surgeon on November 2 to find out when surgery will be scheduled. I 'll keep everyone posted as soon as I know. Goodbye for now.

Hair or No Hair? That is the Question.

We have accomplished a lot in the last few days. This has been a week of many firsts- first day of school, first day of dance, first IV chemo treatment, first radiation treatment, etc. I know the question that everyone wants to ask but is afraid to is , "Will your hair fall out from chemo?" I have been told by all the doctors that the form of chemo that is given for rectal cancer does NOT make your hair fall out. It may cause some thinning, which in my case my hair has been thinning ever since I had my first baby. Thankfully, I have thick hair so it must grow back quickly. Hair loss from this kind of chemo is a rare side effect. Good news for me, and another blessing!

I must admit when I went in to the chemo lab on Tuesday, I was not prepared emotionally for what I saw. There were about 40 reclining chairs in a large room with people hooked up to IV poles everywhere. I was one of the only people in the room that had any hair. Most everyone in the room was older. Some looked as though they had already died- laying down, drinking through sippy cups, no hair, eyes closed. It was very disheartening for me to see. My nurse was very nice. She introduced me to some other very nice patients who were there for chemo treatments as well. I was hooked to an IV that injected a clear substance into my vein for about 90 minutes. The ironic thing is that everyone's IV bag looked the same- clear like liquid. However, each bag contained extremely different variations of toxins. I am a lucky one. I was one of the few that received my chemo through a normal IV in the arm. Most everyone else had a port that was in their chest that the chemo was admitted through. Because one of the chemo drugs that is given for rectal cancer was developed into a pill form about 7 years ago, I am able to orally take one of my chemo treatments. I take 5 pills a day. Others must be given their daily dose through IVs, therefore must have ports put in to avoid being poked on a daily basis. Also, I have really good veins which is a blessing. I will go for my next IV dose on September 11.

The radiation is the scary thing for me. I probably have a hole in my stomach from all the worrying that I have done over the past couple of weeks. I am sure that many of you want to know what does radiation entail. The actual treatment itself is not so bad. It doesn't hurt. After several days of being drawn on with sharpie markers to get the measurements in place, being x-rayed, and being tattooed, I was finally ready for the real thing. Radiation is the BIG GUNS as one doctor said. It is the thing that will knock the cancer out faster. I was very nervous to have the first treatment done. First you lay on a bed on your back with your pants lowered enough to expose your upper hips and pelvic area (mainly so that they can see the 3 tattoos they have put on your body in order to align you correctly). Then they put the block between your feet and strap your feet to the bed so that you stay in the same position through out the treatment. Then you lay very still while the machine rotates under your body to give the radiation on the underside. Then it rotates around to the left and does another loud beep to expose radiation to that side. Then it rotates around to give the radiation on the right side. The entire process lasts only 10-15 minutes. The side effects are the scary thing. It can cause diarrhea, bladder infections and skin burns. In addition to making you very tired. For me the worst effect of radiation is the fact that my ovaries will be damaged, which will send me into early menopause. Another thing to contend with! I really wanted another baby, so this is an emotional issue that I am having to come to grips with. My doctors did not think it would be in my best interest to delay treatment another week in order to do an experimental surgery to move the ovaries out of the radiation field. They felt that it was essential to start radiation immediately. I feel very blessed to have 4 beautiful children already. Though it is difficult emotionally, I agree with the doctors that I want to do whatever they feel is best for my quick and full recovery.

I also met with my colorectal surgeon yesterday. He said that I would probably have surgery in December. It will require a 5 day stay in the hospital. Then another surgery 2 months later for a 3 day stay. At least we are making progress.

Over all, I am doing well. School started this week, as well as dance classes for the girls. That is going good, though it makes for a more exhausting schedule as any Mom can agree with. I feel VERY tired ( a tired that I have never felt before), which is extremely frustrating for me because I want to do so many things that I don't have the energy to do. My sister Rachel is here and has helped a ton around my house this week. I am so fortunate to have such a wonderfully close family. Everyone is really stepping in to help. My sister Rebecca has been here every day since my diagnosis helping out in one way or another. Jared's sister Jackie has picked up kids for me and had them over to her house. My Mom and Dad help with all the laundry and picking up kids. Jared's Mom has done grocery shopping for me, as well as helped with the kids any way that she can. I can't think of anything that hasn't been done for me. I am still humbled by all the gifts, cards, phone calls, emails, flowers, food, etc. that I continue to receive. Please remember that I do appreciate all the messages of encouragement and hope, even though I may not be able to respond to each of you as quickly as I would like. My time is very limited between doctors visits, treatments, and kids' stuff. Thanks again for all the prayers. I know that the Lord is with me every day. On another post I would like to share some of the sweet scriptures and quotes that I have been given to me that have been of comfort and strength. Thanks to my friends that put that basket together. What a creative way to provide comfort!

I love you all. Each of your desires to help and provide encouragement and comfort inspires me. It makes me want to be that kind of person. May you each be blessed for your goodness and faith.

I got tattooed!!

OK. So today I went to the radiation therapist to have my simulation done to prepare me for my radiation treatments. First, I got to drink 40 oz. of barium sulfate (berrie smoothie flavor-yum!!) which gives you terrible diarrhea. Nice! Then I got to go put on a gown and be strapped to a table with a block between my feet so that my body could stay in alignment. Then marks were drawn on my body in 3 different places with a sharpie marker. Next, I was scanned thru a large machine that sent images to the radiation oncologist so that he can figure the appropriate measurements for putting the radiation plan in place. I will spare you the embarrassing details of it all. After being scanned, the technician then put three drops of ink on my skin and poked me with a needle to make the tiny tattoos. They are seriously so small that I wonder if they will actually be able to see them each time when I go in for treatment. My treatments will begin next week. 5 times per week for 5-6 weeks.

The highlight of my day was getting to attend Kindergarten orientation and Meet the Teacher Night with my 2 oldest kids. I can't believe school is starting.

3 full days of oral chemo treatments and everything is A-OK!! Keep those prayers going!

Jumping in

I just took my first oral dosage of chemotherapy. I had to take 3 pills. I will take 2 more this evening. It took all morning for me to get the courage to swallow them. I feel fine, which makes it scary to think about putting medicine in my body that will make me feel tired and sometimes yucky. But, as one Dr. said,"Everytime you feel yucky while doing chemo, think how yucky the cancer cells feel that you are killing." My IV form of chemo starts next week. I meet with the radiation Dr. tomorrow to find out when those treatments will start. I am ready to tackle this.

Good News!!

After 1 colonoscopy, 2 MRIs, 1 CT scan, 1 PET-CT scan, 3 physical exams, 2 rectal exams, and 10 LONG days, I finally received some good news today. The oncologist called and said that the results of the PET-CT scan show that my cancer has not spread afterall. The cancer is limited to the rectal area. The other spots are benign tumors!! I will start the oral dosage of chemo tomorrow. I have my appt. with a radiation oncologist on Wednesday to get radiation started.

I know without a doubt that the Lord extended His hand in this. It is because of all the love and faith of everyone that I know ( and all of your friends and family as well)! All the prayers, the fasts, the faith of so many people calling out to the Lord on my behalf. People of all faiths- Baptist, Catholic, Mormon, Church of Christ, Methodist (even the Vietnamese nail technicians) said they would pray for me. There have even been some who said that they didn't know how to pray but that they said a prayer in my behalf. I will never doubt again rather I am a well liked person ( or maybe it is just my family that everyone likes)! I am overwhelmed by the emails, phone calls, flowers, meals, cookies, gifts, cards,etc. that I receive on a daily basis. It will take me a long time to get all my "thankyou" notes out. Please know that I can never express my gratitude for the kindness and genuine concern that I have been shown.

I still have alot of chemo and radiation treatment to go, then a surgical procedure. But the Dr. said that last week I was TREATABLE, now with the results showing that the cancer has not spread, I am CUREABLE!!

I will keep everyone posted as to how the chemo and radiation treatments are going. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray that I can have minimal side effects, and that the treatment will be effective. Pray that I will have the strength and energy I need to take care of my children so they can see that I am still actively involved in their busy little lives. Pray that we can afford all these expensive treatments. And give thanks each day for the day that you have, for the people around you that you love, and for the knowledge we each share that there is a Heavenly Father who knows and understands us better than we think. We are so blessed to have a Father that we can pray to about our concerns, fears, worries, problems, questions.

Good bye for now. I will send an update soon.

My first attempt to join the blogging world!

This is my first time to create a blog. I thought this would be a good way to keep a journal. Especially, so that I can remember all of the experiences that I will have over the next months trying to treat the cancer that I have. This will be good therapy for me to write my thoughts and share my feelings. Here it goes!